Klaine fanfic - A Sobering Thought

"So then what happened?" Mercedes chuckled into her wine glass.

"Well I ran away, obviously." Kurt said, rolling his eyes. The entire table erupted with raucous laughter.

Kurt had missed this … his high school days seemed like such a distant memory now, but the friends he made in Glee club were never far from his thoughts, and he relished the rare times that he could catch up with as many of them as possible.

"We need more drinks!" Quinn chimed, jumping from her seat and skipping away towards the bar before anyone could protest or offer her money.

"So, Kurt … Kurt … Kurt!" Rachel persisted, grabbing his face to eventually get his attention. "Have you seen the guy again since?"

"Oh, god no!" Kurt scoffed, "And I hope I never have to."

"Aw, sweetie - it'll be okay." Rachel soothed, stroking the side of Kurt's face and leaning her head against his shoulder. "We'll find you a good man."

"Hot, too." Tina nodded.

"Cuh-razy hot!" Mercedes added.

"Whoa there … who said I needed help?" Kurt spluttered. "Who says I need a man at all?"

The women around the table all fixed their sympathetic eyes on Kurt and tilted their heads.

"After that story, honey? You definitely need a man." Mercedes laughed.

Quinn appeared with two fresh pitchers of some unidentifiable cocktail. "What'd I miss?"

"Quinny … help us convince Kurt that we can find him a decent guy." Rachel whined in Quinn's general direction, sloshing the new drink into any available glasses.

"Oh, we can totally do that." Quinn nodded, climbing clumsily back onto her too-high barstool.

"Yay!" Tina and Mercedes clapped in unison, and Rachel raised her fists to the ceiling. Kurt simply laughed, knowing there was absolutely no way of talking his friends out of whatever drunken, hare-brained scheme they were about to think up.

"Ooh … I know what we should do!" Rachel squealed all of a sudden, bouncing in her seat. Her wide, slightly-bloodshot eyes met with Kurt's mildly freaked-out ones. "I have the perfect plan."

"I'm all ears." Kurt groaned.

"Don't be like that, Kurtsy. This is going to be …" Rachel trailed off, seemingly in a thoughtful trance. Kurt raised his eyebrows, patiently awaiting the end of the sentence.

"Awesome?" Tina asked eagerly.

"Yesss!" Rachel grinned, and Tina nodded enthusiastically.

"So, is anyone going to enlighten me? Or do I need to summon up my mind-reading skills?" Kurt asked, taking a swig of the strange cocktail he'd been given and wincing at the fact that it tasted like rocket fuel.

"Kurt Hummel …" Rachel began, resting her head in her hands and looking pointedly at her friend. "I want you …" She broke into a grin and looked close to spontaneous combustion, "… to kiss the next guy who walks through that door!"

"Oooh!" The other girls said together.

"No. Nope. Not gonna happen." Kurt shook his head quickly. "Nope."

"Oh, come on, Kurt." Quinn laughed. "Live a little."

"I live plenty." Kurt argued. "I just don't see how kissing some random guy who may or may not have diseases growing on his face is going to help me in finding the man of my dreams."

"Okay, fine - you get to vet the guy first." Mercedes grinned. "Right, Rachel?"

"Hmmm … I guess." Rachel conceded. "But too many excuses and you forfeit that right."

"Wow … forfeit? Really?!" Kurt couldn't help but laugh.

"You're doing this, Hummel." Quinn urged, draining her glass and turning in her seat towards the door.

"I … oh, dear god …" Kurt slumped, hiding his face in his hands. "You're actually gonna make me do this, aren't you …" He mumbled.

Rachel jumped from her stool and skipped around to Kurt, reaching up on tiptoes to grab his face and point it to the door. Kurt laughed but didn't struggle, inwardly praying that he'd be put out of his misery with as much dignity left intact as possible. The entire table sat quietly and stared at the doorway for several minutes, groaning when only female groups wandered in.

"This is looking pretty hopeless, ladies. Can't I just kiss a girl instead? Because that would be way less embarrassing for me …" Kurt mused.

"Absolutely not." Rachel hissed. "And if you do, we get first refusal anyway."

Kurt flushed a little and choked back a laugh. His friends all peered around him excitedly as the door began to open again, a figure bustling in and jogging towards the bar, excusing himself as he went.

"Finally …" Tina breathed.

Kurt craned his neck, trying to keep the newcomer in his sights. "May need to forfeit that one … he looks in way too much of a hurry to be able to spare a kiss."

"Nope. That's your guy, Kurt. We'll drag him over here even if you won't." Quinn laughed, jumping down from her stool and setting off back towards the bar. Mercedes followed, while Tina and Rachel simply giggled into their drinks.

"Laugh it up, ladies." Kurt droned, watching Quinn and Mercedes stalk off.  The man they had their sights on was talking animatedly with one of the bartenders, and as he removed his jacket Kurt noticed that he was wearing a similar uniform. The black polo shirt was fairly tight against his chest, and Kurt couldn't help but marvel at the way the cut of the sleeve accentuated his tanned, toned arms. When he could tear his eyes away from as much of the torso of the man that he could see, Kurt also took a moment to admire the soft, dark curls gracing the man's head. Now if he could only get a good look at the face …

"Ooh, Tina …" Rachel nudged her friend and gestured with her drink towards Kurt. "I think we have a winner."

"Shut up." Kurt said, unable to hide a slight grin as the man's face came clearly into view, Mercedes and Quinn having managed to gain his attention for a moment. He couldn't deny it - even from here, this guy was a complete stunner, and if Kurt had a 'type' he was surely it. He found himself frowning with disappointment when the man appeared to be politely refusing to follow the girls back to their table.

Quinn and Mercedes eventually turned around and made their tipsy way back to their party, shrugging as they reached their seats.

"He can't leave the bar." Mercedes groaned. "He was late for work and he's already in trouble with his boss."

Kurt's heart sank a little, but then he remembered how embarrassed the whole thing would've made him and heaved a sigh of relief. "Well, we wouldn't want the poor guy to lose his job, would we? Never mind - no harm, no foul."

"Hey! Don't think you're worming your way out of it that easily. You either go talk to him, or we move on to the next contestant." Rachel said, nodding back towards the door. Kurt followed her gaze and grimaced at the sight of a much older gentleman entering the room, so far from being his type that it wasn't even funny.

He held his hands up in defeat. "Alright, fine - I'm going. Was there even the slightest chance that he seemed gay to you, though? Cos he looks pretty straight to me."

"Hard to tell." Mercedes shrugged.

"But he's cute as hell …" Quinn added, "… and you know what they say about the cute ones, right?"

Kurt feigned ignorance for a moment. "Serial killers?"

"Married or gay!" Mercedes insisted. "And we saw no ring, right Quinn?"

Quinn nodded emphatically into her drink and Kurt chuckled to himself, pushing himself off his stool with some effort and taking a deep breath. He straightened his shirt and brushed down his pants, taking one more swig of Dutch courage from his strange drink and searching for the barman in the throng of people before him.

"Okay girls – I'm goin' in!" He said, receiving a series of whoops and whistles from his table. He strutted towards the bar with much more confidence than he was actually feeling and squeezed himself into a free space at the far end of the counter, waiting patiently for his moment to strike up a conversation with the - yup, had to be said - beautiful man he was meant to seduce. Or kiss at the very least.

The other barman on duty came over to take Kurt's order, and he reluctantly agreed to a vodka-cranberry juice, grateful that he was finally able to choose his own drink. He chose not to ask if the man would mind bringing his colleague over however, just in case it got him into even more trouble – for all he knew, Kurt was being served by his boss.

Kurt sat and cradled his drink for a while, trying not to stare too closely at the curve of Mr Wonderful's ass in his jeans as he moved around behind the bar, because even that seemed to be beyond perfect. He was knocked out of his trance when the owner of the ass in question was suddenly making his way towards him.

"Hey!" A happy voice crooned, and Kurt took a moment to admire the long lashes framing the big brown eyes trained firmly on his own.

"Uh … hi!" Kurt squeaked, silently cursing himself for having almost lost the ability to speak.

"So, are you the guy the girls over there wanted me to talk with about something?"

"Oh … please just ignore them," Kurt blushed, "They're all insane. Also, I'm going to kill them later."

The barman gave a warm laugh, and Kurt felt sure his insides had just melted into a sticky puddle of goo.

"Well, my name's Blaine, and if you decide you want to discuss it after all, I'm on a break in about an hour." The man grinned, and Kurt could've sworn there was hint of a wink thrown in there for good measure too. He excused himself and began to move away as another drink was ordered.

"…Kurt!" Kurt exclaimed before he even knew what he was doing.

The barman turned his head and tilted it quizzically. He thought for a moment and then spoke while deftly opening three bottles of beer. "I'm really sorry. I wasn't meaning to be."

It was Kurt's turn to look confused. "Pardon me? Oh, no - not curt … my name is Kurt. With a 'K' …"

"Oh!" The man laughed again. "I'm so sorry … again. That's a nice name."

Kurt wasn't sure he'd ever been given that particular compliment before, and if his beautiful new acquaintance hadn't had the kindest eyes and most genuine smile he'd ever seen, he would never have believed anyone for saying it. As it was, he just sat there, stunned and deeply flattered.

"Uhhh - Kurt?" A familiar voice said, prodding him in the back. He turned to find Mercedes grinning back at him. "So, how'd it go?!" She exclaimed all too loudly.

Kurt clamped his hand over his friend's mouth. "Dear god, will you be quiet?! He might hear you."

"Oops!" Mercedes laughed when her mouth was freed, and she held a finger to her lips, shushing herself and then giggling uncontrollably. Kurt couldn't help but snort out a laugh too. "So, did you talk to him? Please tell me you talked to him, Kurt … Rachel will string you up by the you-know-whats if you didn't."

"I did." Kurt insisted petulantly, jumping down from the bar stool and glancing behind him just in case the barman was close by. Sadly he was all the way at the other end of the bar, being ogled by a group of rowdy girls. "And he said he's going to come over when he's on his break."

"And when's that?" Mercedes asked as they both wheedled their way through the now-crowded bar back to their table.

"About an hour, he said."

"Oh god, Kurt … I'm tired! This diva needs her beauty sleep." Mercedes groaned, climbing with great effort back onto her stool, Quinn eventually dragging her up by a sleeve.

"What? What's this? What's happening?" Rachel babbled in Kurt's general direction.

"We have to hang around a little longer."

"An hour longer – at least!" Mercedes chipped in, slumping her head onto Quinn's shoulder and pretending to cry.

"We can do that!" Rachel sang, nodding emphatically from Kurt, to Tina, to Quinn. The two girls shrugged and nodded back, obviously tired, but possibly too drunk to care. Mercedes groaned again. Kurt climbed onto his stool and gave a happy little sigh.

"So?" Tina nudged Kurt in the ribs. "Is he dreamy?"

"Oh. My. God, Tina - he's heavenly." Kurt gasped, gripping onto her hand and giving it an excitable squeeze. All of the girls squealed, and even Mercedes felt the urge to join in. Kurt jolted his head back around towards the bar, worried that the commotion might have sparked unnecessary attention, but he was relieved to see that barman was way too busy in his work to have noticed.

"Does he have a name?" Rachel urged, resting her head on her hand and smiling like the cat that got the cream.

Kurt nodded and grinned back. "Blaine."

"Oooh, barman Blaine!" Tina sang.

"And you found out if he's gay, right?" Quinn asked.

"Nope. And he probably isn't …" Kurt sighed wistfully, "… but he's very polite, and well spoken. And I swear he kind-of winked at me."

"Gay!" Mercedes chipped in.

"You don't know that." Kurt argued. "It's a bartender's job to flirt with the customer a little if necessary."

"Never had one wink at me." She huffed.

"Oh, sure you have." Quinn laughed. "Now shut up and have another drink."


***


"Okay Kurt, it's been way more than an hour … can we leave now?"

Kurt slumped on his stool and stared into his empty glass, refusing to meet Mercedes' gaze.

"I hate to say it, but I think we probably should …" Quinn nodded, squeezing Kurt's shoulder. "If Tina drinks any more she's going to pass out, and the rest of us are just about comatose too."

Tina raised her head off the table for a moment and poked her tongue out at Quinn before groaning and setting it back down.

"But … no …" Rachel whined. "He's still coming - I know it."

"Rachel, sweetie - even I know he's not coming." Kurt sighed sadly.

"Who's not coming?"

"Barman Blaine." Tina slurred into the table at no-one in particular.

"But I'm here."

Everyone looked up in the direction of the voice, and found a cute but confused-looking barman poking his head between Quinn and Mercedes' shoulders.

"Ohmygod." Kurt gasped under his breath. Rachel leapt from her stool and stumbled across to where Blaine was standing, batting her eyelashes and holding out her hand which he shook politely.

"Well hello there, sexy bartender man. My name is Rachel Berry and I think I love you."

"Rachel!" Kurt hissed, and Blaine glanced over at him and chuckled.

"We've been waiting very patiently for you." Quinn gave Rachel a gentle nudge out of the way and ran a hand down Blaine's arm, and Kurt could swear that he leaned a little closer to her, smiling at the touch.

Typical. He's straight, and he wants the goddess that is Quinn Fabray.

"Is your friend okay?" Blaine asked, nodding over at Tina.

"She'll be fine once we get her to a bed." Mercedes chuckled, and Tina raised a hand in acknowledgement.

"Ah … long night, huh?" He smiled, meeting eyes with Kurt again. Kurt faltered for a moment.

"Sure has." Mercedes answered for him. "Which is why we need you to do something for us as fast as possible, please."

"Oh? What's that?" Blaine smiled.

"Let him kiss you." She replied, pointing at Kurt as he shrank into himself and prayed for the floor to open up and swallow him. Blaine simply laughed.

"Uh … I can do that." He shrugged, lowering his eyes and suddenly looking a little bashful.

"You really don't have to." Kurt said quietly. "It was just a silly bet."

"And I won?" Blaine smiled weakly as Quinn and Rachel pushed him gently towards where Kurt was sitting.

"He did." Tina said without even raising her head, pointing with both hands at Kurt.

"No, no – you see, a little earlier this evening … " Rachel began, and Mercedes scoffed, receiving a glare. "… young Kurt here agreed to kiss the next guy to walk through the door …"

"Oh, right. And that was me …" Blaine said, glancing nervously up at Kurt through his lashes. Kurt nodded, still perched firmly in his seat. "So, what do you win?"

"Honey, if he gets a kiss from you, he's already won." Mercedes chuckled to herself, and Kurt shot her an icy glare, his cheeks glowing a deep shade of pink.

"Kurt …" Blaine said softly, and Kurt flinched slightly upon hearing his name said for the first time by the man's pretty voice, and felt him get a little closer. "I'm totally fine with this … I mean, if you are."

"While we're young, boys!" Quinn yelled, and the other girls giggled in agreement. Kurt reluctantly slid from his stool and turned towards Blaine.

"I promise I don't bite." Blaine smiled.

"I swear if you say 'unless you want me to' I'm going to do that on purpose." Kurt droned, receiving a cheeky smirk that made his heart skip a beat. "I'll bet you get this all the time, don't you?" He added quietly.

"Not usually from men." Blaine conceded. "But what the ladies don't know won't hurt them, right?"

Kurt quirked an eyebrow, and he bit back a grin, shuffling a little closer. "And will I be annoying some big, burly boyfriend somewhere by doing this? Because this face is too pretty to be pulverised."

"You won't …" Blaine laughed, "… and it is."

Kurt took a deep breath, suddenly feeling light-headed and like he might fall over any second. Blaine noticed this and grabbed hold of his arm to steady him.

"Christ, Hummel - kiss him!" Rachel cried.

"Oh, good god - fine!" Kurt huffed, grabbing Blaine's face with both hands and crashing their mouths together. It was hard, rough and somewhat painful, and Kurt instantly regretted being so forceful. He pulled away quickly, taking in Blaine's darkened lips and slightly dishevelled hair.  "Jesus - I'm so sorry."

"It's fine." Blaine replied, his lips turning up at the corners. "I usually perform better with more warning though."

Kurt flushed again and looked away, feeling a hand pulling his face back around, and suddenly Blaine was right there, leaning in softly and brushing his warm lips against Kurt's. The sound of the girls around them cheering brought Kurt back to reality after a moment, and he smiled into Blaine's lips, opening his mouth just a fraction and sucking gently. The tiny moan that escaped Blaine's lips told him that this was a very welcome gesture.

They both pulled away and laughed, Blaine still hanging onto Kurt's arm. Tina hiccupped loudly.

"Okay, that's our cue, Kurt - we really have to go now." Quinn said, and the other girls nodded sadly, scooping Tina up from the table.

Kurt pouted as he met Blaine's eyes again, but found that his new friend looked just as sad as he was.

"Can I give you my number?" Blaine asked quietly.

"Oh god, please do." Kurt sighed, smiling to himself as he watched Blaine take a small pad and pencil from his back pocket, scribbling something down before tearing off the page, folding it up and placing it in Kurt's breast pocket with a light pat. A breathy "Thanks."  was just about all he could manage.

"My pleasure." Blaine smiled. "Do you guys need me to call a cab or anything?"

"Nope, we don't have far to go." Kurt said, frowning as he began to be dragged away by Rachel's hand. He felt Blaine squeeze his arm until he was out of reach, and nodded in response to his gesture to give him a call.

Just try to stop me, barman Blaine.